They Became Fools

Jamie turned me on to a website called Stuff Christians Like. Modeled after Stuff White People Like, it’s a collection of articles about religious topics using plenty of sarcasm and wit. Recently one of Jamie’s friends sent her the book of articles taken from the website as a gift. It was in the bathroom, so I read it. The only thing bad I can say about it is that I’m jealous I didn’t think of it first.

One of the articles is about looking for subtle hints in Christian friends to see if they drink, like looking for beer in the fridge or a bottle opener keychain for their keys. I laughed at that one, since I’ve had a Killean’s Red keychain for my keys since 1996. But lately it hasn’t been working too well. I think I wore it out. I haven’t been able to read the lettering on it for awhile now, and finally the metal part came off. It was time for a new keychain.

Bottle opener keychains aren’t that easy to find. We went on vacation to Naples, Florida, and I looked in about 10 different gift shops, but no luck. I found one at a music store that was closing. It was shaped like a guitar, which was added bonus, but it fell off the key ring after three days. I was mildly depressed. Since I didn’t have a bottle opener keychain I feared I might run into other Christians and they wouldn’t know I drank beer. I may have to get a t-shirt or something.

In the endless unpacking that has been my life since we moved, I found a box of trinkets and junk. It’s the random junk that usually takes up a drawer in the kitchen, but I like my kitchen too much to pollute it with this detritus. Among the coin rollers, paper clips and keys to cars I haven’t owned in 20 years it appeared, a bottle opener keychain I got in Vegas in 2001. Joy! Now I could be cool again. Then I read it. I think I’m going to have to keep looking…

I didn't really steal it, I think it was $1.99. And I got it from a gift shop on Fremont Street, I swear!